


rooftops

by mayflxw



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Consuming Love, M/M, Making Out, Smoking, Space and Universe, canon jaeyong, jaehyun has really starry eyes okay, kinda soft ig?, slight angst and feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-10 10:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19500280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayflxw/pseuds/mayflxw
Summary: after a rough patch in their friendship, one night on the rooftop of a foreign hotel leaves taeyong and jaehyun closer than they ever thought was possible. taking each other in fully, kissing, in an attempt to get away from their stressful world for a little while.





	rooftops

**Author's Note:**

> -i wrote this on four hours sleep, waiting for my delayed flight in the depature lounge, its mostly unedited and i apologise for the rambles. 2.5k and the lowercase is intended, enjoy!

after a tiring day of rehearsals and exploring in foreign european streets, the scorching heat of the sun was finally subsiding. taeyong in particular was feeling the strain of travels, wanting nothing more than to relax in a warm, soothing bath with his newly purchased lemon bubbles.

and yet, he still found himself shuffling his weary feet down the corridor towards jaehyun's room. 

despite his sleepy eyes weighing down, taeyong still noticed the way jaehyun's muscles rippled across his chest as he opened the door, dressed in a plain white shirt and some sweats. no matter what he wore, taeyong still found the outlines of his shoulders, the definition of his sculpted face and his soft lips breathtaking. and he knew deep down he shouldn't feel this way about another member of the group, especially when it happened to be one of his best friends, but who wouldn't be drawn in by jaehyun's subtle beauty?

"taeyong? it's late.." jaehyun's smooth, tired voice burst through the pocket of silence that had surrounded them. 

"jae _.."_ his voice floated through into the space between them as he realised jaehyun was now staring, he was probably surprised to see him there so late. and in all honesty, it surprised taeyong too- of all the places, his feet had led him to here. 

for awhile now there had been some tension between the pair, no matter how much they tried to push it aside for the sake of fan service and maintaining peace. each other’s feelings had gone unspoken for weeks, the distance seeping into their bonds and breaking them apart like ice.

lingering glances were stolen from each other in private moments when the cameras were turned off and everyone had their own spaces to breathe. the two would exchange innocent little touches- gentle brushes of fingers in the kitchen, a hand on one's shoulder just before heading on stage- all of which taeyong spent endless nights overthinking. but he had also been avoiding him: deciding that the best way to shake off the brewing feelings in his chest, which flooded through his veins every time he caught the others glance, was to stay away. 

yet, taeyong was stood outside the doorway, with no idea how to articulate what he wanted. _did he want jae to be closer? did he need comforting? clarity?_

he wanted to clear the air, to lift the tension, to talk openly for once. 

although no words came out, taeyong's eyes spoke for him. he felt as though he was drowning in the depths of jaehyun's presence. and after a long drawn out moment, the other's shoulders slumped slightly and his eyes softened. jaehyun couldn't understand why taeyong was suddenly here, it both puzzled and left a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. it hadn't been the first time. 

"come to the rooftop with me?" taeyong ruffled his curls between his fingers nervously, realising that unless he looked away he had no idea how to stop himself from blurting out all the matters pressing on his heart for jae and the whole corridor to hear. he needed a breath of fresh air, a step outside of their reality. 

jaehyun silently nodded, this wasn't the first time they had chosen a private spot like this to connect with each other. so picking up his bottle of soju from the side, he followed taeyong up to the rooftop of the hotel. not once did taeyong look back to see if he had come; both were taking their own piece of dutch courage to get through what could possibly come next. 

being so far up on the hotel floors was prohibited, but the rush of breaking the rules made taeyong feel more alive: his senses heightened. 

he wanted the adrenalin for what he was about to confess. 

a wave of heat washed over taeyong's skin as he pushed open the heavy metal door, leading onto the roof. it felt as though he was stepping out onto the edge of the world, the dull city lights and hue of wood fire ovens stretched for miles as he stayed with his back to jaehyun, eyes fixated on the view despite hearing the door close. he was no longer tired out here. 

"so you finally want to talk to me, huh?" jaehyun asks out into the night air, his voice verging on exasperated. but he remained patient, trying to refrain from pushing the words out of the smaller, even if he was just itching to know why he'd been brought all the way up here at this time. taeyong could never usually stay distant for this long, not even when they’ve argued before- so it must be something else. 

it was never about words for them. words never came easily, their connection had always been more spiritual, more understanding than that. and although taeyong knew that there was no way jaehyun could hear how fast his heart was beating, he could still feel the latter's eyes boring into the back of his head with confusion. 

"tae.. come on, talk to me. what's been going on with you? _with us-?"_ jaehyun whispered, almost a plea. he hated the never ending silence that seemed to blanket over them like a pillow of clouds. 

taeyong didn't know what his answer was. he didn't want to picture his entire world crashing around him if he said something wrong.

ever since they'd first known each other, it had felt like meeting their opposite- taeyong was always bottling up his emotions until they would have no idea what he was thinking behind those eyes, whereas jaehyun loved to talk. to be expressive, wanting to talk through all his emotions until he made sense of them.

still, jaehyun had always seen taeyong as someone he wanted to open up and explore what ran beneath the surface.

_what made the lee taeyong tick?_

taeyong slowly turned around to meet the other's gaze, his lips open and closed without a sound as he tried to figure out whether to listen to his head or his heart. for someone who had been so strongly adamant that feelings could never get in the way of his career, here he was with butterflies swooning right through to his bones as he sees the stars sparkle in jaehyun's eyes. 

"i'm sorry, jae.. i shouldn't have avoided you for so long" he started, his eyes lowering in shame. he knew that keeping jaehyun in the dark had been wrong, but it was hard not to give mixed signals when he hadn't been able to make sense of the feelings himself. 

"then _why?_ why have you brought me out here?" jaehyun takes a small step out towards taeyong, the moonlight just starting to shimmer across his features. even if he was hurt after taeyong had pushed him away, a part of him still urged to be closer, as though there was some unparalleled force willing for them to stay intwined no matter what. 

" _because_ jae!" taeyong breathed out, his arms moving out animatedly as he wished jaehyun was just able to read his mind, " _you_ drive me crazy! every time i look at you it feels like flowers are blossoming out all over my skin.. so how can i compete? _how can i be near you?_ when all my mind thinks about is kissing those soft damn lips" he rants on, staring into those starry eyes with an emotional confidence he'd mustered up out of nowhere. 

_“we can never truly be together..” jaehyun had drunkenly slurred one evening in the back of the tour bus, turning his face to the side to miss the other’s lips. taeyong’s face had fallen, instantly becoming sober as he pulled himself away from the warm embrace._

"so kiss me then" jaehyun says determined, cutting taeyong's memories short as he holds his gaze. it makes taeyong almost choke on air. 

taeyong blinks for a moment, his heart racing as he finds it hard to believe his own ears. "kiss you-" 

jaehyun chuckles quietly at this reaction, hardly ever managing to send taeyong into a state of fluster like this, and the sound fills taeyong up with warmth and honey. 

"we are not meant to be, jae..” taeyong's voice is no longer strong, but soft and filled with a new kind of sadness. the words jae had spoken that night protruded freshly in his mind, weaving their way right into his core- because how could they ever be more than this?

and even though he knew it was wrong to have these thoughts about his best friend, taeyong still found himself taking one step closer until he could see the whole of the night sky in the eyes before him. 

"who says that? you can't continue to push these feelings away, tae- not now" jaehyun traces his finger gently around the outline of taeyong's jaw, before letting it drop gently by his side. it was clear that jaehyun didn’t remember that night back in the US. 

“it was **you** , jae.. do you really not remember at all?” taeyong blinked, the hurt he’d felt stinging in his chest like the feeling of a first hit. 

jaehyun was lost, staring back at taeyong like he was trying to see right through him. a quiet moment passed before the realisation washed over his face.

_the tour bus._

"why'd you think i brought you up here hm? i faced myself.. i’m letting you face yourself too since you're sober" taeyong sighed, taking a moment to properly look at the man in front of him. it had been such a risky decision, but here he was stood in all his beautiful glory, with an entire city as a witness. no matter what happened in the morning, this was a night they’d both remember forever. 

no matter how many times taeyong had tried to convince himself this was all a dream, jaehyun was still there- in touching distance. if he just stepped a little closer, he'd feel his breath fan across his skin, be in reaching distance of those inviting lips.

jaehyun looked so kissable right now.

and whilst everything else blurred around him, all taeyong could focus on was those lips. he was undeniably whipped for his best friend, and even if he hadn't had any real confirmation from the other aloud, the look in jaehyun's eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

if you had been watching from a distance, it might seem like the perfect beginning. and in some ways to taeyong it was, suddenly finding jaehyun's lips crashing gently onto his own. _jaehyun's lips._

time almost stopped for taeyong in that brief moment, it was so gentle it hardly felt like a kiss. “i didn't think you still wanted me.." he says quietly, hearing how his breathing had altered just by being so close to jaehyun. 

“i kissed you didn’t i? isn't that enough-” 

instead of giving him time to finish his answer, taeyong clenches his fist around the front of jaehyun's shirt and pulls him in closer, connecting their lips frivolously once more. he had missed the subtle coffee taste of jaehyun's lips, the warmth filling him to the brim. he wanted to make sure it was real this time. 

taeyong's cheeks heat up under the other's touch, his heart pounding furiously in his chest as he allows himself to give into the desires he'd been denying for weeks, months even. finally letting jaehyun explore beyond his closed expressions, diving into the great unknown. 

he took jaehyun's lower lip between his own and sucked gently, emitting a soft groan from the taller boy. it made the hairs on the back of taeyong's neck stand on end when he heard the other's reactions: he wanted to know jaehyun inside and out. 

and this was how taeyong found himself straddling jaehyun's hips on the rooftop some time later, with the latter's back sat up against the wall, a half empty bottle of soju at their side. despite the sun already setting, taeyong still felt the stifling heat of being so close to the one he'd craved all this time. 

"how long have you felt this way?" jaehyun asked, looking back into taeyong's eyes as his fingers tapped absentmindedly over the edge of his waistband. 

"too long to hold it in anymore" taeyong replied honestly, as he fumbled around to light his first cigarette. it was a bad habit, something that didn't have a grasp on his life, but one he enjoyed from time to time- especially in honest moments. he wasn't sure if it was the smoke giving him euphoria, or that he could see all the stars in the night sky swimming deep in the pools of jaehyun's eyes, blending into the universe.

jaehyun watched as taeyong took his second drag, shoulders instantly slackening as the chemicals entered his bloodstream, mixing with god-knows what alcohol. by the third drag, taeyong's brain had begun to short-circuit- watching the shy dimples on jaehyun's face grow in front of his eyes as he pulled the joint right out from between taeyong's lips. instead of taking a drag himself, jaehyun was already pulling him closer; letting the second-hand smoke blow back between their lips as they exchanged sweet little nothings.

it wasn’t the first time jaehyun had sent him to cloud nine.

taeyong's lips tasted like cigarettes and alcohol, it was much more bitter than jaehyun could remember, but it was enough. even if they were getting drunk on a rooftop in the middle of nowhere, these alcohol kisses were a better stress reliever than anything else. 

so much better than that lemon bubble bath. 

and by stepping outside of their stressful world for a moment, they had walked straight into a new world. their own world. 

_”you’re such a fucking beautiful smoker, tae.. it’s killing me softly” jaehyun had muttered outside their dorms, stumbling over taeyong’s feet in a fit of laughter as they came home after a night out, unable to understand how everything taeyong did sent him over the edge._

and it was still true now, jaehyun couldn’t quite comprehend in his alcohol-brain how someone like taeyong could be sat on top of him: living like a free man. he ran his fingers over taeyong's thighs, imagining what he might see underneath those black skinny jeans. but it didn't feel lustful, being in this position with him, only some kind of love. 

running his nicotine fingers through jaehyun's hair, taeyong laughed purely. this was way too good to be true, especially when he feels soft lips latching onto his neck line. “mhm.. jae you can’t” he half whines, fighting against his body which implored for more. there was no way he could explain a hickey to everyone in the morning without it seeming suspect. 

with a slight tug on his silky locks, jaehyun’s lips are brushing against taeyong’s once more, breathing in the spirals of smoke which billowed their way from the other’s mouth. and jaehyun could do nothing more than breathe in every last fume.

he was filled with the concept of taeyong in his entirety... smoking and all. 


End file.
